Monday, June 5, 1961
Monday, June 5, 1961--the hardest day of my life. I did not heed Annie's advice to not come down to the Hotel Utah, from where she was leaving today. I needed to see her one more time, but she was right. There were so many people there, family, almost the entire South High Pep Club, other exchange students, friends, and she didn't really have time for me. She understood what it would do to me, and she was right. I did get a chance to give her the bracelet I had bought for her, and hug her, but that was it. When the bus left, I was totally lost and so sad, and felt all alone--Annie Martin was gone, and I had no idea if I would ever see her again.
Annie had written in my yearbook:
"For life is but a sleep, a walking shadow.... Yes, this is true. After life is death. After land is the ocean. For me, the ocean means death (not because I don't know how to swim) but because the ocean is going to take me away from America, from my friends, from my American parents, and from you.
You know, Clark, it's fun to say "Hi," but it is really sad to say 'good bye,' especially when you don't have any faith in the future, and I am very pessimistic, that's why I am so afraid to go back home. If I am not sad to-day, it is because I can't realize. I can't think, it can't be possible. All these things, real to-day, will be only shadows and memories to-morrow.
Clark, I am so happy to go to graduation with you. Graduation night will be a big one for me, and so much bigger because we shall be together. Oh, Clark, it's going to be so hard to leave you. 24 days left, it's not very much. Would you help me to make my departure easier? Clark, you've got to help me.
This year mean so much to me, to all my life. You don't know how much I changed this year and how much I shall have to change again when I am back home. It's terrible! I think one should never have to go someplace where one can't stay. It has been wonderful, anyway, and I won't ever forget!"
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