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Some Signicant Learnings

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This is from Carl Rogers' Book On Becoming A Person . Some, but not all, have also become significant to me, who as a person, wants to understand better why we as behave as we do. There, in very brief outline, are some of the externals of my professional life. But I would like to take you inside, to tell you some of the things I have learned from the thousands of hours I have spent working intimately with individuals in personal distress. I would like to make it very plain that these are learnings which have significance for me. I do not know whether they would hold true for you. I have no desire to present them as a guide for anyone else. Yet I have found that when another person has been willing to tell me something of his inner directions this has been of value to me, if only in sharpening my realization that my directions are different. So it is in that spirit that I offer the learnings which follow.  In each case I believe they became a part of my actions and inner convictions...
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Our Friends During a Pandemic

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I first met Joe Friedman in the Summer of 2017 when I brought down a load for our move from Utah to Gilbert, Arizona. He lived across the street with his wife Merle Morgenstern. I was impressed with Joe's friendliness and desire to get to know his new neighbors. Annie was not with me on this trip but I told Joe a little about her and that she was French. The first time he met her he greeted her with a hearty 'bonjour.' When we moved in on the 1st of September 2017, Merle and Joe came over to say hello and to allow us to meet Merle. They brought some lovely flowers, and we were both impressed with their youthfulness and good cheer. It was not long after that we invited them to dinner, and that began a warm and beautiful 4x4 friendship. I say 4x4 because it is rare that two couples mix and blend so easily and comfortably with each other. While our backgrounds are different (they Jewish and we Mormons) we came to recognize that we connected with them and they with us i...
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The Man Who Put the World on its Feet

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He died at 37, penniless and forgotten—but you're wearing his invention right now, and every day of your life.  In 1880, a pair of shoes cost more than most families earned in a week. Not because leather was rare. Not because cobblers were greedy. But because of one impossible step in shoemaking that no one—not a single inventor in the world—could figure out how to mechanize.  It was called "lasting"—attaching the upper part of a shoe to its sole. It required such extraordinary precision that only master craftsmen could do it. They made about 50 pairs a day, working from sunrise to sunset.  And they knew they were irreplaceable. Dozens of brilliant inventors had tried to build a machine for this. All failed. The work was too delicate, too complex, too... human.  Then a young Black immigrant who barely spoke English decided to solve it. Jan Ernst Matzeliger was born in Suriname in 1852. His father was Dutch, his mother was Black Surinamese. As a boy working in machine...
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A Dream

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Notes on dream 10/6/2025 My dream began with Annie and I going to a big gathering together. I had to sit in a different section from her. I watched where she sat, and then went to my seat. From my seat I could see the area she was seated in, but when I looked, I couldn't see her. Because there were so many people in attendance, I left my seat to go find her, but she was no longer where I could see her. I inquired of others sitting near where she was sitting, and a few recalled seeing her, but didn't see where she had gone.  As I was looking there were many people gathered around, what seemed like many stations. There were trains and trucks and elevators at these stations. Some people were being directed and were following others in large groups. They appeared to be going to these stations. I was in one of the groups and we got to a station and were boarded on this large truck. The truck, however, did not have wheels. It seemed to be suspended in the air by cables and held a lot...
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Remember How We Met One Day

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Remember how we met one day when days were full of fun, and how we fell in love then, the days all seemed like one? All those youthful love days that did go on and on and on, wonderful in all the ways that never seem to dawn, till one day you were gone. I had friends to play with, friends to spend a day with but no taste for the game, the days were all the same. Not just a shadow or a memory and more than just a dream, your leaving left a refugee and years to go between. Remember how a young boy knows the closest to his heart, how the door will never close no matter we're apart? All those youthful love days will go on and on and on, wonderful in all the ways can never be withdrawn, our day could never dawn.
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Interest & Affection

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It seems to me that when others are genuinely interested in you as a person, it is a sign of affection. But what does it mean to be interested?  When someone is "interested in you as a person," it means they are curious about: Your thoughts and feelings: They ask questions and listen attentively when you share. They want to know about your life, your past, your passions, your future aspirations and your experiences. They pay attention to what makes you, you. Not what you do, but who you are. They are genuinely concerned about your well-being, and they will dig deep to find out. They have no expectations of you, nor do they judge and evaluate you. This kind of interest demonstrates that they value you as a person, and want to connect with you on a deeper level than just superficial interactions. It also is a reflection of their own development as a person. How Does Interest Connect to Affection? Affection is a broad term that encompasses feelings of fondness, liking, and care....
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When Not Feeling Loved

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The problem is often expressed in terms of not being appreciated or not being loved. But the answer is not to look to our other, but look to ourself. Most often we blame the other when we don't feel loved. The other feels the same about you, and so we become trapped in a vicious circle always blaming the other. Or worse yet, waiting for the other to love us. There is only one way out: If you want to feel appreciated, be appreciative.  If you want to feel loved, love! Love begets love and more love begets more love. Joseph Smith said, "It is a time-honored adage that love begets love." Love builds upon itself. One of my most frequent answers to prayers about Annie has always been "Just love her," which to me does not allow any room for criticism, evaluation or expectation, but being human I can't eliminate these. I can, however, ask to receive the pure love of Christ so that at sometime I can love her perfectly. In the meantime I can begin to be changed by Hi...
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